Recipe: 3 Ingredient Chocolate Bark

Oh dear. What have I discovered? The easy route to an early grave perhaps? Chocolate, sweets and pretzels all in one gloriously sweet and salty mouthful. It’s like fireworks going off with every bite and is entirely worth the blocked arteries that are due to follow. Just drink some green juice after and go for a brisk walk, you’ll be fine. Hey, what is life if we can’t live it on the edge? There was a time in my life that living on the edge was going out drinking and dancing three nights a week and still managing to hold down a job, now I consider it exciting when I can stay up late enough to watch the 10 o’clock news in my jimjams.

This recipe is the second in my three ingredient series. If you missed the first instalment, featuring a very naughty Oreo milkshake then give yourself a telling off and go see it here. These recipes are proving to be rather devilish and I like it.

Makes a decent sized slab, i.e. enough for two people to eat during the opening credits of a movie.

What you need:

  • 200g chocolate (I used milk chocolate, use whatever takes your fancy)
  • a big handful of M&Ms (I used the Crispy ones because, frankly, they are the best, but again, use whatever. The world is your oyster, so they say)
  • 30g salted pretzels, smashed up a little bit

What you do:

  • Melt the chocolate whichever way you prefer. I use the microwave, stirring every 30 seconds until solid becomes liquid. You could temper the chocolate, but really, why would you prolong the gratification of eating this just to give it a nice shine and whatever else tempering does. Suck it up. Spread the melted chocolate onto a lined baking sheet, making it as thick or thin as you like.
  • Scatter over the M&Ms, then the smashed pretzels, ensuring the goodies are evenly distributed. Pop it into the fridge to set for as long as you can bear.

Now, admire the beauty that is chocolate bark.

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Smash it up and dish it out to anyone who needs a little extra love in their lives. You will be everyone’s best friend after this. Kid having trouble making friends at school? Send them in with a lunchbox full of this. Girlfriend mad at you for spending all of Friday night on the X-Box? You know what to do. Mad at yourself for being too fat to fit into any of your dresses? Sod it, just crack on and worry about it later.

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I will leave you with this gloriously chocolatey post as I am now on holiday for a week. See you next Sunday!

Tania x

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